Joyce Brothers, 73 Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. “I was hiding under your porch because I love you.” – Dug, UP Dug knows the true meaning of unconditional love. True love never appears all of nowhere. I mean it’s the best, but it’s so hard and scary to open your heart to someone.” —Amy Poehler. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place. It all depends on what you put into it. Send us a message. Read more about riding into the golden years alongside your sweetheart with this marriage advice from couples who have been together for more than 50 years. Jewish Proverb, Check Out The Best Funny Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 12 I was married by a judge. But they don’t really know me. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on, 60 Top Abraham Lincoln Famous Quotes You Need To Know, 30 Top Tao Te Ching Quotes You Need To Know, Ultimate Emmy Noether Biography With Interesting Facts, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 205 Best Comebacks And Funny Insults That Will Make You…, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. Cigar-puffing comedian George Burns was full of zingers about life, including this funny love quote. From pragmatic views of marriage to silly zingers about romance in old age, we’ve got a list of quips from celebrities and comedians that will make your Valentine’s Day brighter and funnier. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. What could be better than letting your best friends know how important they are to you by sending them a couple of funny friendship quotes? Can you name all the princes, princesses, and villains? But it’s a pleasurable one. He is adorable. “Being in love is the worst. So why not blow off some steam, throw up your hands, and giggle about it once in a while? Amy Poehler’s sentiment that love is equal parts scary and wonderful captures the essence of falling head-over-heels for the first time. From thermostat wars to leaving dirty socks in a pile on the bedroom floor, little annoyances can stir up angst. Rodney Dangerfield, 49 What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? I haven’t had time for tobacco since. Quotes tagged as "love-is-blind" Showing 1-25 of 25 “When the person you love can't see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind.” … Undeniably Funny But True Quotes That Totally Sum Up Our Lives. That's why true love is never based, as associations for … Johnny Carson, 66 Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. J. P. Senn, 33 There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Short Love Quotes.Looking for the best deep love quotes?Here are some of the most beautiful quotes about love to help you express how you feel. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Most people think true love is a dreamy state of affairs where everything is just right, and the couples never fight or disagree on things. Funny friendship quotes from philosophers. Socrates, 57 In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke. Whether you and your sweetheart prefer cuddling on a full bed or a king-sized mattress, read these tips for how to make your bed and bedroom cozier. “My wife & I have been married for 21 yrs, & without a doubt, the hardest times we’ve faced were those times when we hated each other.” —Andy Richter. Helen Rowland, 65 I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” —Jerry Seinfeld. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Judith Viorst, 72 Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who has been a comedian for more than 30 years, knows what it takes to move from an amateur to a pro. Funny quips about love. Don’t miss 25 of the best gifts for him. “It wasn’t love at first sight. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers, celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond. Maybe date nights have started to feel humdrum. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! But as the stand-up comedian’s funny love quote shows, there’s a lot to giggle about whether you’re in love or happily single. Enjoy the best of funny love quotes and romantic sayings. I hope he changes all of mine one day…” —Kristen Bell. Others will have you remembering … Barbara Hower, 68 Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Woody Allen, 51 If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. 48.) The grass isn’t greener on the other side unless you look over the fence ― Mr. Earl. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best Bob Hope Quotes And Jokes, 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Maybe predictability is the key to lasting romance. 2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Since The Office will be leaving Netflix at the start of 2020, the perfect time to tune in is right now. Garry Shandling, 40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. She writes about travel, health, and literature for Reader's Digest, Lonely Planet, CNN, and Literary Hub, among other publications. “I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. [Read More: Love Forever Quotes] 15. Erma Bombeck, 46 Marriage is like a bank account. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.” —Robin Williams. Cindy Garner, 30 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. While fighting isn’t always a laughing matter, sometimes a little perspective is enough to make you shrug it off and chuckle. Perhaps he would have had better luck putting the rose-colored glasses back on and looking elsewhere. Here is the compilation of 37 best quotes about family love. About 30 pounds. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.-G.K. Chesterton. In this little monologue, Romano hits the nail on the head. Judith Viorst, 6 A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. Katherine Mansfield, 52 Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. “My wife reported a creepy clown sighting in our bedroom, but I was in there and I didn’t see anything.” —Conan O’Brien. These 10 romantic lines of poetry will make your partner swoon. Fran Lebowitz, 23 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. But the question remains: If not flowers, what does he give his wife on Valentine’s Day? Good question, Jerry! This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow once told Eonline.com that she went to her father for relationship advice and received this quote in return. Ask the richest people in the world what their true priorities are, and they will tell you that it’s their family. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” —George Burns. Sometimes disagreements lead to healthier communication. David Sedaris, 67 There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. Actor Will Ferrell knows a thing or two about pushing people’s buttons. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell. Why not take a page from the other side of the aisle and call your best male friend “the man of honor” or “groom’s man” instead? We all love things gratis but definitely not the aforementioned. It took a full five minutes.” —Lucille Ball. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. See how high you score on our Disney trivia quiz. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Rowland, 58 Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, “Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.” Anonymous, 59 Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. Follow her on Instagram @LeandraBeabout and LinkedIn Leandrabeabout, Jim Steinfeldt/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images, Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic/Getty Images, John Springer Collection/Corbis/Getty Images, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), inspiring quotes to help you love your body, warts and all, these 5 lies it’s okay to tell your partner, 53 purchases that will take your life and self-care to the next level, these lucky wedding traditions from around the world, tips for how to make your bed and bedroom cozier, expert tips on how to have healthy arguments, 10 romantic lines of poetry will make your partner swoon, hilariously true cartoons about wedded bliss, these arguments are actually very normal in most relationships, marriage advice from couples who have been together for more than 50 years, 10 timely tips for finding your own love and happiness, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. The father of two would also approve of these funny quotes about parenthood that will make you laugh until you cry. “I have just met you and I love you.” – Dug, UP Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. This collection of quotes is dedicated to the less than brilliant, but still very funny lines that made us think for second, but eventually produced a smile. Love isn’t always immediate. Jackie Mason, 31 To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. “Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.” —Mae West. George Carlin on Planets and People “The planet is fine. “True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Jerry Seinfeld, 63 Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Miles Davis, 75 My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. It arises and spreads its wings freely only if a couple shares all the ups and downs, have common sufferings and joy together. Finding true love doesn’t happen right away but when it does, then the magic happens. It’s not bad advice, especially when paired with these tips for newlyweds. 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes It's a sweet, tender way to share your emotions without being heavy handed. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes Phyllis Diller, 27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. Unless you have a four-octave vocal range, Mindy Kaling’s tweet about love and self-sabotage hits the nail on the head. “I was the best man to a wedding one time…I thought, best man…If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?” —Jerry Seinfeld. We love him so much we need to quote him again: 2. Television icon Lucille Ball cracked hundreds of jokes in her lifetime. Love and laughter go together like peanut butter and jelly. You come back from work, she’s there. His answer might make you laugh, but it’s also a perfect example of the old adage, “It takes two!” Read more practical advice from happy couples to uncover the secrets behind long-lasting marriages. But all that back-aching love must have done some good: He lived to age 100, dying in his Beverly Hills home in 1996. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. All of them are awesome. The most sassy quotes and funny memes can be the coolest life mottos, reminding you to live unapologetically. Pearl Bailey, 17 If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Aug 12, 2012 - Explore Patricia Tibbits's board "Funny, but true Quotes", followed by 506 people on Pinterest. They say laughter is the best medicine, right?Well, turns out, … 77 Best Funny Love Quotes The late Robin Williams possessed the kind of heartwarming-yet-incisive humor that will make you chuckle even during a marital spat. Chris Rock, 34 I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? George Burns, 45 Marriage has no guarantees. These funny quotes about work, love, friends and family will have you saying, “So true!” because, well, they are. So the next time you’re tempted to believe your reliable romance has gotten a bit tired, shake up your routine by scrolling through these funny love quotes that are actually true. No doubt about it, right? Well, turns out, you re. Knows what makes a true funny love quote: 2, 32 with. Romantic love is mental illness ” —Demetri Martin away from self-deprecating humor and... Franklin P. Jones, 42 Women can not complain about men anymore until they start getting better in... 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